Day 28: Letter to myself a year ago
Dear Claire,
I know things are really busy right now; you've just taken on a new challenge at work and that's all you can really think about, but there are a few things you should know.
You have an idea rattling round in your head, it's not quite taken shape yet but you know that in 2017 you're going to go on an adventure.
This adventure will be in two parts, but you don't know that yet. You have a feeling you'd like to visit Central America, and you will, more specifically, Nicaragua, which is the first half of your adventure and the subject of this letter.
I know you're worrried about going it alone, but I know the thought of not doing it is the thing that scares you the most. It's this fear that will spur you on, go with it.
Later in the year, when you share your plans with people, you'll get a mixed reaction. Some will applaud your 'bravery', others will be worried and some will look at you like you've gone out of your mind.
But you'll know your decision isn't brave or foolish, because deep down you know it's the right thing, the only thing, for you to be planning right now.
People will worry that you'll be lonely, you're not so sure you will be, you think you'll be just fine. Guess what, you're right.
What you won't know at the moment, is how much more than 'fine' you'll be. In fact, on a few occasions, you'll be so overwhelmed by your adventure, that you'll have to stop for a moment and have a little cry because you're so happy. This will happen on your 32nd birthday while you're halfway to a waterfall and when you're swimming in the sea looking back at a tiny tropical island miles from anywhere.
You've got so much to look forward to, trust me.
You'll meet the most incredible people, who will entertain, sustain and inspire you. You'll meet women living bold, colourful lives on their own terms; couples seeing the world together; and people like you who are going it alone.
You know that this adventure isn't about 'finding yourself', you already know who you are. If anything, it's about pushing your boundaries and you'll certainly do that (you'll feel this most keenly halfway up a volcano in 36 degree heat).
You'll discover an incredible country, with a fascinating history and wonderful people. You'll be welcomed, looked after and befriended.
You'll delve into history; travel on a bus next to a woman holding a live chicken, peer into the mouth of a volcano, kayak at sunrise through a beautiful mangrove forest, throw yourself off rocks into azure blue waters and, yes, you'll throw up into the Caribbean Sea in front of seven strangers.
You will write every day and feel nourished by this time dedicated to your most favourite thing in the world.
Most of all, you'll have so much fun. You'll find joy in each day and in each new experience. You really will have the time of your life.
I won't lie, the year ahead is going to be a tough one for you, but it'll be so, so worth it. So take care, get enough sleep and keep going with all the research because it'll pay-off big time.
In twelve months, you'll be sitting at a desk, writing this letter, not really believing how bloody well it's all worked out.
You're going to nail it, Miss Brown.
xxx