Castrojeriz to Fromista

I've been experiencing varying levels of discomfort since day one of Camino, ranging from 'oh, I didn't know I had a muscle there' to 'ok, so knees aren't supposed to feel like that, are they?'

But today, my toes tipped me over the edge.

We were 3 miles from the hostel, I was walking with Davide, Tano, Ines and Manon, with Abdal and Magda just ahead.

I'd been feeling pathetic all day, my little and second littlest toes on my right foot had practically disintegrated and each step brought horrific stinging pain.

I'd taped them up, taken more than my fair share of Ibroprofen, but still...every step, this shooting pain that kept telling me how weak I was.

All I wanted was to be at the hostel, to have a beer and get my flip flops on for some blessed relief.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I mumbled something along the lines of "screw this" to the gang, and with no other explanation, I put my headphones in and motored off at top speed.

I stormed past a confused Abdal and Magda, grumbling expletives as I went, and hit play on the angriest girl rap music I could find on my phone.

Not my finest moment in terms of group walking etiquette, but something in me needed to make the pain my bitch.

It was a beautiful day, and the road took me along the bank of a really pretty river, but my head was filled with the lyrics like: "Rolling through the west side, 'bout to burn this mother f***er down like I'm LeftEye..."

I fought back tears the whole way, and when I made it into town, it took me longer than usual to find the hostel, which made me even more furious.

Don was standing outside when I finally arrived, and later commented that the angry expression on my face as I approached was terrifying.

I walked into the garden to find Martine and Janne and immediately burst into tears. I slumped down, completely exhausted and feeling more than a bit stupid for walking off from the group in such an overly dramatic manner.

When they arrived not ten minutes later, I made an embarrassed apology to all of them - they got me back later by doing impressions of me running off.

I think the most painful thing about the whole episode wasn't the actual pain, but feeling weak. Perceiving weakness in myself is definitely something I'm not comfortable with.

Once I made the decision to push harder, I felt stronger, it felt good not to give in, but I know this isn't sustainable, on the Camino or in life.