Portomarin to Palas del Rei

Within our Camino family we talk about everything - the big things, the small things, our hopes and our fears but there's one subject that's taboo; talking about the end of our adventure.

None of us want to admit that now, over a month in, Santiago is only four short days away. No one is ready to leave the trail.

This was brought into even sharper focus for me by the arrival of Laura and Shane. As we set off for their first walking day, they asked me all the usual questions about what my plans were for when I got back home.

But I didn't want to talk about home. I didn't want to talk about plans. Doing either was admitting it would soon be over and I felt waves of anxiety that day and a desperate sense of wanting to cling onto the simplicity and beauty of the life I'd been living for the past few months.

I cried as I tried to explain to my friends the significance of this journey for me, and I'm crying now as I remember how I felt that day.

For me, the trail was a constant source of nourishment, of renewal and of discovery, not to mention the incredible friendships I'd forged along the way. Now, every step towards Santiago was was step closer to saying goodbye.

Fortunately for me, Laura and Shane were very understanding of their blubbering friend, and it felt good to talk to people who've known me for years, gently reminding me that the life I left behind was a great one; full of fun, friendship and deep-rooted connections.

Still, I was finding it really difficult to process everything in my head. That evening underlined all the things that I'd be leaving behind...it was Magda's 30th birthday and Martine had spent the afternoon making her a vegan friendly strawberry and chocolate birthday platter; Magda made us all a delicious birthday meal and we spent the evening having laughing, talking and drinking wine.

I went to bed that night with my head all over the place, and I was frustrated and annoyed with myself for feeling sad while Laura and Shane were with me.

I was standing with my feet on two planks moving further apart and I knew at some point, I'd have to leap on the one destined for home, but for now, I was stretched across the two and it was painful.